Sleep Study
by rubycaspar
Summary: A series of missing moments from the end of Series Three onwards, all based around sleeping. Sheyla, major spoilers for series three esp Sunday and after...
1. Prologue

_A/N – And another one starts! Okay, this chapter is really short and just setting up the story. Basically it's going to be a series of John/Teyla missing moments focused on sleeping. I should get the next chapter up tomorrow, and hopefully the next instalment of Baby Love as well._

_SPOILERS for Sunday in this chapter._

Disclaimer – I own nada.

_Prologue_

Teyla sighed and wearily swung her legs out of bed. She had never felt so tired – her body felt heavy and her head ached dully from lack of sleep. It had been the same for almost two weeks now, ever since that Sunday.

In the infirmary, Teyla had been under the influence of some fairly strong painkillers, and they had kept her quite drowsy. But as the pain from her wound wore off she no longer had the help of those drugs to rest, and had seemed to have lost the ability to sleep properly. Every hour or so she would manage to doze off, but would wake again after only a few fitful minutes. She was not experiencing nightmares or any kind of vivid dreams, and yet she just couldn't seem to stay asleep.

She had thought returning to her own quarters would help, but she had been there four nights now and had experienced no change.

Teyla got dressed, deciding that a walk may help to tire her out further, or at least clear her mind. One consequence of not being able to sleep was that she could not escape her thoughts – and all she could think about was that day.

It had been so needless. Such a waste of life. She did not understand why such a machine existed – surely the Ancestors must have known that it might affect them as well? If so, why build such a device? If there was the slightest chance that an experiment would harm someone, Carson would never –

Teyla sighed and rubbed her temples. She desperately needed to sleep.

Opening the door to her room, Teyla stepped out into the deserted corridor. Pale moonlight filtered in through the window at the end of the hall, and she walked towards it. Atlantis was beautiful at night. So peaceful. She sighed and rested her forehead against the glass, looking out at the ocean.

"Teyla?"

Teyla spun around at the sound of her name. John Sheppard was standing at the other end of the corridor, looking at her with confusion. He walked over to her. "Are you okay?"

Teyla smiled at him. "Yes," she said quietly. "I am just having a little difficulty sleeping." She tried not to let her extreme tiredness show on her face. It did not seem to work.

"You look really tired," John said, frowning with concern. "Maybe you should get some sleeping pills."

Teyla shook her head "No," she replied. "I do not like the feeling that I have no control over waking." She had tried them before and had not enjoyed the experience.

John smiled slightly. "Yeah, I don't take them either," he said. "Still though…"

Teyla decided to change the subject. "Why are you still awake?" She asked. John rolled his eyes. "Training a couple of the new pilots," he said. "We had to get some night flying in."

Teyla smiled. "How did that go?" She asked. She knew John hated training the new recruits.

He pulled a face. "Don't ask," he said. "Listen, I'm not gonna be getting to sleep for a while, so I was going to watch a movie. You want to join me?"

Teyla looked at him suspiciously. "It is not Top Gun again, is it, because there's only so many times I can watch –"

John laughed. "No, no, it's not Top Gun," he said. "Though don't go insulting the classics." He waved his finger at her as they started to walk down the corridor. Teyla smiled again.

"It's called Die Hard," John said. "It's an absolute classic."

John referred to most films as classics. "Another one?" She said teasingly.

John gave Teyla a disparaging look and she laughed lightly. They had reached John's quarters and he waved his hand over the control panel to open it. The lights came on as they stepped inside and the door closed behind them. John waved vaguely at his sofa. "Have a seat," he said, walking over to his desk to get his laptop.

Teyla sat down on the sofa and watched as John booted up the computer and inserted the disc. He came and sat down next to Teyla just as she yawned widely.

"Do you want to sit on the bed?" he asked her. "In case you fall asleep?"

Teyla shook her head. "I will not," she said. "I have not been able to sleep properly for a while now."

"How long?"

Teyla thought for a moment. "Just over a week," she told him.

John stared at her. "Teyla…"

"I know."

"You have to see someone about it," he said.

Teyla sighed. "I will," she said. "So, what is this 'classic' about?"

John raised an eyebrow at the not-so-subtle subject change but obediently turned back to the laptop. "It's about a cop who's in a building when a terrorist group take over and how he fights single-handedly against them," he told Teyla.

Teyla frowned in confusion. "What is a cop?" She asked.

John looked at her a little despairingly, and she tried to look apologetic, though she actually found the look on his face quite amusing. John sighed.

"A cop is a slang term for a policeman - who is someone that makes sure the law is followed. They have the power to arrest people and lock people in jail and stuff."

"I see," Teyla said, almost telling the truth. "And are there many… cops… on Earth?"

"Oh yeah, every country has policemen," John said. "There're loads, but we always need more. They're pretty important to keeping society running smoothly."

Teyla nodded and turned her attention to the movie. Even though she liked to tease John about his love of action movies and his obsession with Top Gun, she absolutely loved watching them. And this one did sound interesting.

By the time John McClane had got to the Nakotomi Plaza, Teyla was fast asleep.

John reached for a bottle of water on his bedside table, trying not to move too much in case he woke her – she had rather inconveniently fallen asleep with her head on his shoulder.

Successful in his mission, John took a sip of water and looked down at the Athosian leader. Her breathing was steady and her face peaceful.

"Well," he whispered. "I guess Die Hard isn't for everyone."


	2. An Odd Sleep Pattern

Disclaimer – I own nothing to do with Stargate.

_Can't think of any spoilers for this one. Er, First Strike I guess but a very, very minor one. This chapter follows on directly from the prologue. Please let me know what you think! _

Chapter One – An Odd Sleep Pattern

The sun was streaming through the window of his quarters and struck his face. When the heat got to a point where sunburn was a serious possibility, he started to wake up.

John blinked and opened his eyes. The first thing he noticed was that his neck hurt. A lot. The second thing he noticed was that instead of a pillow his cheek was in fact resting on something hard and covered in hair.

A nanosecond later he realised that it was the top of Teyla's head.

John's head shot up. His neck cracked and he hissed in pain, but Teyla didn't stir. She was fast asleep with her head resting on his shoulder, just as she had been the night before. At some point during the movie John had dozed off as well, and his arm had somehow made its way around her shoulders.

Very gently, John removed his arm and then, being as careful not to wake her as he could, he started to scoot away from her. He just hoped to god, the Ancestors, and whoever else might be watching that she didn't wake up.

He should have woken her up when he'd started to drop off the night before. But she'd looked so peaceful, and she had told him that she hadn't been sleeping, and… well, he hadn't been able to. He could do a lot of things, but he hadn't been able to wake her up.

Now they were in a bit of a situation.

Having successfully got himself away from Teyla John stood up and carefully rested her head against the back of the sofa. He stepped back and looked – she frowned a bit and leaned further into the sofa, but slept on.

Letting out a sigh of relief, John went into the bathroom.

When he emerged ten minutes later, rubbing his hand along his newly-shaven jaw, the sunlight that had woken up John had crept onto Teyla's face. As he watched she blinked a couple of times and then opened her eyes.

She was obviously disorientated, and looked around for a moment, confused. Her eyes alighted on John and widened.

John decided that normal was the best way to treat this situation. "Good morning," he said.

Teyla stared at him. "I slept," she said, sounding amazed.

John smiled slightly. "Yes you did," he said. "I've never seen anyone find Die Hard so boring."

Teyla shook her head. "I am sorry…" She began.

"It's okay," John said. "I was asleep by the end of it too."

Teyla stood up. She looked incredibly awkward. John felt enormously glad that he had woken up before her and had escaped. "I didn't mean to... you should have woken me," Teyla said.

John rolled his eyes. "You told me yourself you haven't been sleeping. I thought I'd better let you catch up," he said. It was the semi-truth.

Teyla smiled. "Well… thank you," she said.

John nodded. "It's okay," he said. "Maybe you should borrow Die Hard tonight and watch it in your room, to help you get to sleep again."

Teyla chuckled. "That may be a good idea," she said. She rocked back on her heels and cleared her throat nervously. She looked towards the door. "Well, I had better –"

John nodded. "Make sure there's no one out there before you leave," he said with a small grin. "You sneaking out of my room will feed the rumour mill for weeks."

Teyla rolled her eyes but smiled as she headed towards the door.

"Good bye, John," she said over her shoulder. She palmed open the door and stepped out into the corridor. The doors slid shut and John let out a breath.

"See ya."

XXXXXXXXXX

After the Die Hard Night – as he liked to call it in his mind – John watched Teyla more closely than usually. They didn't talk about what happened, except when Teyla had thanked John for putting the Die Hard DVD outside her door the next day.

John noticed that Teyla was obviously very tired still. And she kept falling asleep at very random times.

The first time had been three days after Die Hard Night; they and the rest of the team had been playing poker in the mess hall with Lorne and Zelenka. The game went on for hours and Teyla, who was sitting at a ninety degree angle to him, had nodded off at around midnight.

John had signalled the other guys to keep the noise down to let her speak, and to their credit they had managed to for about forty minutes. Then Lorne had won half of Zelenka's money and the former's victory cry combined with the latter's loud exclamations in Czech had woken her up.

A couple of days later they were off-world. They had flown a jumper to a deserted site which had some unusual energy readings that Rodney wanted to check out, and as it was taking him a while they made camp and stayed overnight.

John had taken the first watch and the others had retired to their tents. About half an hour went by before Teyla came back out. She told him she wasn't able to sleep and that she might as well take his watch as well as hers. John had told her to try and get back to sleep but she refused.

John didn't leave her to take his watch – he had never shirked a watch in his entire military career – but she still sat outside with him. They talked for a little while but soon fell into a comfortable silence.

The next time John had looked at Teyla, she had been asleep. He grabbed her sleeping bag from her tent and covered her with it, then finished his watch and took hers as well.

There were several other times when he noticed her almost falling asleep. After two weeks he thought it had gone on long enough and decided to confront her about it.

He brought it up after they had finished a sparring session.

"So, are you sleeping any better?" He asked, hoping he sounded casual.

Teyla sighed and shook her head. "No, not really," she said. "I fall asleep for only minutes at a time."

John turned to face her. "Teyla, you have to speak to someone," he said. "Go and see Dr Kellar."

Teyla shook her head again. "John, I do not want to take sleeping pills," she said firmly.

John changed tact. "Okay, then go and see Heightmeyer," he said. "I'm sure she's got some experience with insomnia."

Teyla regarded him thoughtfully. "Perhaps you are right," she said after a moment. She sighed again. "It is getting rather… frustrating."

John nodded, glad that he had got through to her. "I'll bet," he said. "I gotta go and meet the newbies – but you'll go see Heightmeyer?"

Teyla nodded. John smiled and walked backwards towards the door of the gym. "Okay, see you later then," he said.

Teyla smiled back. "Thank you, John," she said.

John waved and left the gym. There. Done. Now he could stop worrying. Hopefully.


	3. Psychiatric Analysis

Well, I haven't updated this in _months_!! Sorry about that… I seem to have trouble concentrating on one WIP at a time.

Ah well, hopefully I won't keep you waiting another few months for the next chapter.

_**Chapter T**__**wo**_

Teyla sat in Dr Heightmayer's office, trying to get comfortable. The room was one of the nicest in the city – large and bright, and calm. Which Teyla supposed was the point. However, Teyla found it hard to relax in there. She was still not used to 'psychiatry'.

Dr Heightmayer smiled at her kindly, as though she knew what Teyla was thinking.

"So, you are not sleeping well?" She prompted.

Teyla folded her hands in her lap. "Not for some time now," she said.

"How long?"

"Since I was released from the infirmary after..." Teyla's voice trailed off.

"After you were injured in the bomb," Dr Heightmayer supplied gently.

Teyla nodded.

Dr Heightmayer looked at her thoughtfully. "Are you having nightmares? Or any kind of strange dreams?" She asked.

"No," Teyla asked. "I am hardly sleeping at all. I find it very to fall asleep, and when I do it is usually only for a few minutes."

"Are you still in pain from your injuries?" The doctor asked.

Teyla shook her head. "No, not at all," she said.

Dr Heightmayer frowned. "Have you been getting any sleep at all?" She asked.

Teyla nodded. "Yes – these last two weeks have been better," she said. "I have managed to fall asleep several times."

Dr Heightmayer nodded. "Tell me about those times – perhaps we can find out what it is you are doing right," she said.

Teyla thought back. "Well, two weeks ago I fell asleep in Colonel Sheppard's quarters while we were watching a movie," she said. She smiled slightly at the memory. "We thought that perhaps it was the movie, so I borrowed it that night – I ended up watching it twice in a row."

"What movie was it?"

"Die Hard."

Dr Heightmayer smiled. "I haven't seen Die Hard in years…" she said. "Any other times you've fallen asleep?"

Teyla nodded. "Yes, the next evening I, Colonel Sheppard, Ronon, Dr McKay, Major Lorne and Dr Zelenka were playing cards," she said. "I fell asleep at the table."

"You can't have slept for very long."

"No – they woke me after about half an hour," Teyla said. "I went back to my room and then couldn't sleep."

"Any other times?"

"Yes – last week, when we were off-world," said Teyla. "I couldn't sleep at all, so I decided to take my watch early. I went outside to relieve Colonel Sheppard and we started talking – and I fell asleep. The Colonel let me sleep through my watch."

"Is that it?"

Teyla thought hard and then nodded. "Yes," she affirmed.

Dr Heightmayer nodded, looking thoughtful again. "Interesting," she said.

"What is?"

"Well, there _is_ one linking factor between those times you've managed to fall asleep," Dr Heightmayer said, her blue eyes piercing Teyla. "Colonel Sheppard."

Teyla frowned. "What do you mean?"

"I mean that Colonel Sheppard has been present each time you fell asleep," said the doctor.

Teyla thought about it. She was right. "Well, I am sure that is just a coincidence…"

"Maybe," said Heightmayer. "Maybe not."

Teyla frowned again. "So, you are saying that Colonel Sheppard's presence puts me to sleep?"

Dr Heightmayer chuckled. "No," she said. "Teyla, we don't why you can't sleep – you say you're not experiencing nightmares and you're no longer in any pain."

"I am not."

"Nonetheless, what you went through was a traumatic experience," said Dr Heightmayer. "You were severely injured in an explosion which killed a close friend, and when you woke up after surgery you learnt that another friend of yours had also died."

Teyla bowed her head.

"Perhaps your mind isn't letting you sleep because you subconsciously fear what might have happened when you wake up."

Teyla looked back up at the psychiatrist, trying not to let the pain her memories were causing her show on her face. When she had come round from surgery and been told what had happened, she had felt numb with sadness, and she would do anything to never feel that way again. Perhaps Dr Heightmayer was right.

"And Colonel Sheppard?"

Dr Heightmayer smiled at her. "He is a good friend? And you trust him?"

"Of course," Teyla replied. She trusted John more than anyone she knew.

"Well, it may be that when you are with Colonel Sheppard you feel safer – more secure – secure enough to fall asleep."

Teyla stared at the doctor. Could that be true?

"Or, as you say, it may just be a coincidence." Dr Heightmayer smiled again.

Teyla stood up. "I should be going," she said. She nodded her head to Dr Heightmayer, who also stood up. "Thank you, doctor," she said.

Dr Heightmayer nodded back. "Take care Teyla," she said. "And remember that I'm always here if you need someone to talk to."

Teyla nodded again, smiled slightly and left the room.

XXXXX

Teyla went straight to the gym after her meeting with Dr Heightmayer, her mind turning over what she had said. Surprisingly, it made quite a lot of sense to Teyla.

Unfortunately, knowing _why_ she could not sleep did very little to help her. All it did was keep her painful memories of that tragic day fresh in her mind.

Two hours of going through exercises did nothing to make her feel better – all it did was make her feel even more tired. Teyla dropped her bantos rods onto the window seat with a sigh and folded her arms, looking out of the stained glass window.

"Hey Teyla."

Teyla jumped slightly and spun around. She had been so lost in thought that she had not heard the gym door opening. John was standing in the open doorway. Teyla thought of what Dr Heightmayer had said about him and felt herself flush.

"Hello John," Teyla said, managing a weak smile. "Have you come to practise?"

John shook his head but stepped further into the room. "No, not today," he said. "I'm still training newbies." He rolled his eyes. "I just wanted to see how you were. Did you speak to Heightmayer?"

"Yes."

"Anything interesting?"

"Well…"

"What did she say?"

Teyla paused for a moment, wondering whether to tell John what the doctor had said. It was rather embarrassing, but she decided that there would be no harm in telling him.

"She noticed that every time I have fallen asleep these last two weeks has been when I am with you," she told him.

John raised his eyebrows. "That true?" He asked.

"Yes," Teyla said truthfully.

"So I put you to sleep?" John asked, smirking slightly. "Well, that's nice to know…"

Teyla smiled. "John…" she said, rolling her eyes. "She thinks that I am not falling asleep because I am still… traumatised… after what happened."

John's smirk faded and he nodded. "Understandable," he said.

Teyla shrugged and looked away, feeling embarrassed. "And she also thinks that I… feel safer when I am with you, which is why I fall asleep," she said.

John didn't respond right away, and after a moment of silence Teyla looked back at him. His eyebrows were raised again and he was looking at her thoughtfully.

"Could be a coincidence," he said.

Teyla nodded. "That is what I said," she told him, her embarrassment dissipating. She had been worried John would… well, she hadn't really known what his reaction would be. She was just glad that he wasn't making a big deal out of it.

He gave Teyla his usual half-smile and took a step backwards towards the door. "I've gotta go," he said.

Teyla nodded and he turned away. He turned around immediately.

"Listen, Teyla – if you can only sleep when I'm there, then…" he said, shifting uncomfortably from foot to foot. "Well – you need to sleep."

Teyla looked at him in confusion for a moment, and then realised what it was he was saying. She shook her head. "John, it's fine," she said.

John shrugged. "Seriously, I'm just down the hall," he said. "We'll watch Die Hard again. Maybe Top Gun?" He grinned, and she grinned back.

"Thank you," she said.

John nodded and swiped his hand over the door control. "See you later," he said as he left.


	4. Pillow Fights

**From the Author's note at the beginning of the last posted chapter:**

Well, I haven't updated this in _months_!! Sorry about that… I seem to have trouble concentrating on one WIP at a time.

Ah well, hopefully I won't keep you waiting another few months for the next chapter.

**Well, that didn't work out too well, did it? **

I'm really sorry about how long it has taken me to update this… this chapter's quite long, so I hope that makes up for it a little. Anywho, do let me know what you think, and I really will try and update it again sooner rather than later.

**Chapter Three**

Teyla rolled onto her back and sighed.

She had been tossing and turning for four hours now, unable to snatch more than a few moments of sleep. Her head was starting to ache from weariness.

It was two days since she had spoken to Heightmayer, and Teyla had already spent the previous night in a similarly sleepless state. The doctor's advice on the subject kept coming back to Teyla, and she pondered on the truth of it. Could it really be that John's presence helped her to sleep? Given the times she had managed to sleep lately, it was a definite possibility. But even if it was true, what was she going to do about it?

"_Seriously, I'm just down the hall."_

Teyla rolled onto her front and buried her face in the pillow. No. Absolutely not. She couldn't. John was just being polite. She thought back to a conversation they had had earlier that day.

"_So, how did you sleep last night?"_

"_Better, thank you." Teyla was lying through her teeth, and only hoped John couldn't tell._

"_Good, that's good," he said. "I guess Heightmayer got it wrong then?" _

_Teyla smiled. "Yes, I guess so," she answered. _

His relief that she wasn't reliant on him for sleep had been evident, and Teyla had been very glad that she had lied. He did not need to have to worry about her.

_He also doesn't need a member of his team dead on her feet._

Teyla tried to ignore the traitorous voice in her head by burying her head underneath her pillow. It didn't work all that well.

"_Listen Teyla – if you can only sleep when I'm there, then… well, you need to sleep."_

Teyla emerged from under her pillow and turned onto her back again, staring up at the dark ceiling. She was so tired.

"_Just down the hall…"_

With a growl of frustration, Teyla threw her covers off and swung her legs out of bed. She hesitated for a moment, her bare feet brushing the cool floor. Was she really doing this?

Decision made, Teyla stood up before she could change her mind. She headed towards the door, and then turned back to pick up the throw from her bed. She left her quarters and hurried down the deserted, moonlit hallway to John's quarters, which were just around the corner from hers.

She hesitated again outside his door, wondering what John was going to say to see her on his doorstep in the middle of the night, and then activated the door chimes before she could run away.

Teyla could hear movement on the other side of the door, and bit her lip nervously, fiddling with the throw that she held over her arm. What was she _doing _here?

The door slid open to reveal John. He was wearing sweatpants and a t-shirt, and his hair was even messier than usual. His bleary eyes widened when he saw Teyla.

"Teyla – are you okay?" He asked, sounding worried. His voice was slightly croaky – he had obviously been asleep. Teyla wished fervently that she had stayed in her bed, but now that she was here she wasn't about to back down.

"I can not sleep," she said quietly.

John stared at her in silence for a moment, and then took a step back and jerked his head at his quarters. "Come on in," he said.

Teyla took a deep breath and walked into his quarters.

"Did you really sleep better last night?" He asked her as the door slid shut.

Teyla shook her head, and he rolled his eyes. "You should have come over," he said.

"I did not want to bother you," she replied. "I really am sorry –"

John shook his head. "Don't worry about it," he said. "So… you wanna watch a film or something?"

Teyla smiled. "No, it is alright," she said. "You were sleeping… could I… would you mind if I stayed in here?"

John stared at her again, and Teyla shifted under his gaze, once again regretting her actions. Then he nodded. "No problem," he said. "You take the bed and I'll –"

"No," said Teyla firmly. "No – I will sleep on the couch."

John rolled his eyes again. "You haven't been sleeping Teyla – _I'll _take the couch," he said.

Teyla shook her head and started to walk to the couch, giving him a determined look as she passed him. "This is your room, John, and I am imposing on you," she said.

"You're not imp –"

"I will sleep on the couch," she said. She sat down on the couch to emphasise her point.

John gave her a pained look and for a moment Teyla thought he was going to argue further, but he just sighed and walked over to his bed. Teyla smiled slightly and stretched out on the couch, arranging the throw over her as a blanket. A moment later a pillow landed on her lap.

Teyla looked up to see John folding his fleece up to use as a pillow on his bed. "John…"

"Good night, Teyla," said John, a little louder than he needed to. He climbed into bed and closed his eyes.

Teyla shook her head, a small smile on her face. "Good night, John," she said. She propped up the pillow against the arm of the chair and sank her head down onto it. It was warm, and smelt of John's aftershave. She closed her eyes, and listened to John's breathing become deep and even, as she drifted off to sleep.

XXXXX

_Beep beep beep beep._

John shut off his beeping alarm and snuggled back down into his fleece.

Wait a minute – his _fleece_?

John's eyes snapped open and he quickly sat up, looking across the room to where Teyla still lay. She was fast asleep. He watched her for a moment, trying to decide whether or not it was a good thing she was sleeping so peacefully. On the one hand, she was finally getting the sleep she needed; on the other hand, this meant that it definitely was him that helped Teyla sleep.

Which was probably going to cause some problems.

John got up and stretched, his eyes still on Teyla. The couch was way too short for her – her knees were bent and her head was twisted on her shoulder in what looked like a highly uncomfortable position. Her neck was really going to hurt.

Why had he let her sleep on the couch?

John walked over to the couch and cleared his throat. "Teyla?" Nothing. "Teyla…" He leant down and grasped her shoulder, shaking lightly. Her eyes flew open and met his.

"Good morning sleepyhead," he said.

Teyla sat up and, as John expected, hissed with pain and raised a hand to rub her neck.

"I told you not to sleep on the couch," said John.

Teyla rolled her eyes and swung her legs round so she was sitting. John sat down next to her – the couch was still warm from her body. He scooted forward so that he was right on the edge of the seat.

"So… I guess Heightmayer was right, then," said John.

Teyla smiled and ran a hand through her hair, looking awkward.

John cleared his throat. "Okay, well, tonight I'm taking the couch," he said. And, before Teyla could answer him, he got up and went into the bathroom.

XXXXX

John lay awake that night, wondering where Teyla was. She had gone to New Athos that day and so he hadn't had a chance to talk to her after she had left his quarters that morning. Apart from his quip about the couch they hadn't discussed whether or not she would be coming to sleep in his room again, but he had been kind of expecting her to.

However, it was now gone midnight, and she wasn't here, so maybe she wasn't coming. Though it had been much later when she had turned up the night before.

Maybe she was asleep. Maybe she had managed to drop off, and he was lying there wondering for no reason at all.

Just then, John's door chimes sounded. He jumped out of bed and hurried to open his door.

Teyla was on the threshold, a sheepish smile on her face and a small pile of bedding in her arms. John just smiled and stood aside.

"You know, you could try coming here _before _letting me lie here for two hours," he said as the door closed.

Teyla gave him an apologetic look. "I am sorry," she said. "I was very tired and I thought I would be able to fall asleep…" She sighed and dropped the pile of bedclothes onto the floor. It was only then that John realised what she had brought with her – a pillow, a quilt, and a bedroll.

"Wait, you're going to sleep on the floor?"

Teyla nodded and started to arrange the bedroll. "Yes, I thought it would be more comfortable than the couch," she said.

John snorted. "It won't be," he said. "Take the bed."

"No, John," she said, giving him an exasperated look.

"You're gonna be freezing," he tried.

"It is not cold in here."

"But –"

"John. I will be fine."

Well, at least she'd have room to stretch out. And they would both have a proper pillow. He might have just left her to get on with it if he hadn't noticed her rubbing her neck as she straightened out her quilt.

"Well, good night then," said John, going back to his bed. He crawled back into his bed and turned onto his side, hoping that he looked like he had given in and was going to sleep. As Teyla wished him good night and the sound of her moving around ceased, John guessed that she had believed him.

He kept his eyes wide open, listening hard. It took a little while for Teyla to drop off, but eventually her breath evened out and John risked sitting up. There was just enough moonlight filtering through his curtains to see Teyla's face – she was lying on her back, and she was fast asleep.

Being as quiet as he could, John got out of bed, pulling his quilt off his mattress as he went. He tiptoed over to Teyla and stood over her, watching her sleep for a moment before bending down and scooping her up into his arms, quilt and all. She stirred slightly and John froze, wondering what the hell he would say if she woke up, but she just snuggled closer to his chest, still asleep.

John couldn't help a small smile as he walked back over to his bed. He lowered her to the mattress as carefully as he could. She frowned slightly as he let her go, but didn't wake up. John made sure the quilt was covering her properly and adjusted the pillow under her head.

Smirking a little smugly, John retrieved his duvet from the floor and walked over to Teyla's bedroll. Curling up under his quilt, he quickly fell asleep.

XXXXX

_Beep beep beep beep._

Teyla frowned at the sound of the alarm. Her alarm did not make that noise.

_Beep beep beep beep._

Teyla remembered with a start that she was in John's room, and that therefore the alarm must be John's. She opened her eyes and saw the alarm on the bedside table, flashing 0600 at her. She reached over and shut it off, and then retreated back into the warmth of the bed.

Wait a moment.

Teyla's eyes flew open and she sat up, clutching at her quilt. It was definitely _her _quilt, but she was in John's bed. And, lying on her bedroll in the middle of the floor, was John.

"John!" She exclaimed loudly.

John turned his head away from Teyla, frowning. A moment later he looked back at her, his eyes open.

She glared at him. He grinned. "Well, look what happened."

Teyla's glare deepened as she threw the quilt off and climbed out of the bed. "John, why would you do that?" She demanded, striding over to him.

John's only response was to place his hands behind his head in a maddeningly casual way and smirk up at her – Teyla felt an almost overwhelming urge to kick him. Hard.

"Do what?" He asked, his voice dripping with innocence.

Teyla folded her arms. "John… you know how much I hate having to disturb you –"

"Aw, come on Teyla," said John, sitting up and dropping the innocent act. "You needed a decent night's sleep."

He stood up and fixed her with a don't-argue-with-me look. Teyla had no intention of complying.

"I would have slept perfectly well on the floor," she said firmly.

John rolled his eyes. "Well, I guess we'll never know," he said. "Good morning, by the way."

He smiled his charm smile, and Teyla felt her indignation start to ebb away. It was a very sweet thing he had done for her, after all. However, she didn't want him to see his smile working on her, so Teyla walked back to his bed and gathered up her quilt.

"You might as well leave that here," said John. "You can put it in the closet."

Teyla turned and looked at him, slightly surprised. She could see the logic in the proposal, but leaving her quilt here meant that it was certain she would be back tonight without even trying to sleep in her room alone.

Teyla could see that the same thought was occurring to John, but he met her gaze calmly, waiting for her answer. After a moment, she nodded. "Alright," she said. "Thank you, John."

XXXXX

"Take the bed, Teyla."

"No, John."

"Teyla –"

"_No_."

"Teyla, if you don't take the bed, I'm just gonna put you in it when you fall asleep like I did last night."

"Then I will not fall asleep."

"Teyla!"

"John!"

The two of them glared at each other from where they stood on either side of the bed. They were each holding a quilt that they were trying to spread on the bed – John was holding Teyla's, and Teyla John's. John was also holding Teyla's pillow.

"John, I can not let you sleep on the floor again because of me," said Teyla, willing him to understand.

John sighed, obviously thinking hard. "Okay, _fine_," he said. He climbed onto the bed, pushing the pillow to one side and placing Teyla's pillow next to it, which he laid his head on, spreading her quilt over him and the rest of the bed. Teyla went to reach for the free pillow, but John lifted up the edge of the quilt and looked at her.

"Get in," he said.

Teyla's eyes widened in shock. "What?"

"Get in," John repeated. He raised an eyebrow at her. "You have a better idea?"

Teyla stared at him, her mind racing. First they were sharing a room, and now they were sharing a bed? How did this happen? There had to be another way – why couldn't she just sleep on the floor? Why was John so stubborn?

Hard on the heels of those thoughts came the reasonable voice telling Teyla that this was not a big deal. They had shared a tent many times, and they would not be much closer in the bed.

It was late and they were both tired. Teyla dropped John's quilt to the floor and climbed into the bed next to him, laying her head down on his pillow.

John let the quilt fall over Teyla and lay back down. The bed was just wide enough for the two of them, and their arms, which were lying at their sides, were touching from shoulder to hand. At the same moment, John and Teyla both moved their arms so that they were lying across their stomachs instead, no longer touching. They both stared at the ceiling.

John cleared his throat. "Good night."

"Good night."

_TBC…. And hopefully quicker… _

Please review!


	5. Very Small Beds

Check me out with my update! Wooooooo! Sorry, but considering how long it usually takes me to update this story, I am darn proud of this! Thank you for all the reviews – they spur me on… :D

It's quite short, but I kinda likes it… please let me know what you think!

**Chapter Four**

_Beep beep beep beep._

Teyla forced her eyes open at the sound of John's alarm clock, biting back a groan at being dragged out of sleep. Her pillow shifted slightly and the sound stopped. Teyla smiled and closed her eyes again, snuggling back into her pillow, which sighed.

Teyla's eyes flew open again.

John was lying flat on his back, but at some point in the night had shifted to near the middle of the bed. Teyla was lying on her side, her head resting on his chest and her arm flung out across his stomach. One of John's arms was around her shoulders, and his other hand was resting on top of her arm on his stomach. It felt like his cheek was resting against the top of her head.

Teyla lifted her head, and at the exact same moment she felt John's head jerk up as well. She turned to look at him, and her wide eyes met his startled ones. In a matter of seconds they had jumped apart and climbed out of the bed, so that they stood on either side of it.

They stared at each other in silence for a moment, before smiling a little awkwardly.

"Okay, well…" said John, running a hand through his sleep-ruffled hair.

"It is a very small bed," offered Teyla weakly.

John nodded. "Yeah, yeah it is," he said. "Very small."

Teyla nodded back. That was it, definitely. The bed was very small, and that is why they had woken up… the way they had.

She raised an eyebrow at him and decided to give him a taste of his own medicine. "I told you I should have slept on the floor," she said.

John rolled his eyes. "Nice try, but you're not sleeping on the floor tonight," he said.

Teyla folded her arms. "But John…"

John held up a hand to shush her before she could get any further, frowning, but Teyla quickly realised he wasn't frowning at her. She followed his gaze to his bedside table, where his radio was lying next to his alarm clock. The small light on it was blinking.

John snatched it up and placed it in his ear, activating it as he went. "Sheppard here… I… because it's 6am McKay!" He rolled his eyes at Teyla and turned away from her, talking to Rodney in an exasperated tone.

"A what? A drilling – what… whoa calm down! Okay I'll be right there."

He clicked off his radio and turned to face Teyla again, who was already folding up her quilt and replacing it with John's, which she'd rescued from the floor. She looked at him questioningly.

"I've gotta go see McKay," John said. "Something about a drilling platform."

Teyla frowned. "A drilling platform?" She asked curiously.

"I'm sure you'll hear about it later, and in excruciatingly boring detail," said John.

Teyla smiled. "Yes, I am sure I shall," she said. "I'll be going…"

"Okay… I'll see you later, I guess," said John as Teyla headed for the door.

"Yes… I… thank you, John," she said, pausing.

John nodded. "No problem," he said, looking awkward again.

Teyla gave him one last smile and headed out of the door. As soon as she was in the (thankfully deserted) corridor, her smile faded. _How embarrassing_. Not only had she forced John into sharing his bed with her, but in the middle of the night she had ended up half on top of him.

_Well, it had been his idea…_

Teyla ignored that voice and hurried into her own quarters. No. It was ridiculous, and it could not happen again. She had had three nights of sleep in a row; surely that would be enough to restore her normal sleeping pattern?

Yes, tonight she would definitely try to sleep alone.

XXXXX

John woke up for what must have been the seventh or eighth time in four hours, thinking he had heard a noise. He opened his eyes and peered through the darkness towards his door.

Nothing.

His head flopped back down and he let out a frustrated sigh. If only he knew for certain that Teyla was sleeping okay, _he'd _be able to sleep as well.

Grr. This was so _stupid_. Teyla was a grown woman, and perfectly capable of taking care of herself. John didn't need to worry about her.

It didn't stop him though.

John scowled at his ceiling and shut his eyes, trying to drop off again.

"_Are you sure?" John asked Teyla, as she emerged from his closet, her quilt and pillow in her arms. "I mean – do you think you'll be able to sleep?"_

"_I think so," she said. "I should at least try. If not… then I will come back the next night."_

"_Okay," said John._

"_Besides," said Teyla, looking sheepish. "You deserve a proper night of rest in which you do not have to –"_

"_Okay hold it right there," said John. "If you're doing this because you think you're putting me out or something, then that's a load of – "_

"_No, John," said Teyla firmly. "I am not. I need to try to sleep on my own." _

_John folded his arms. "Alright." He sounded sulky even to his own ears, and quickly unfolded his arms again, not wanting to look it as well. _

_Teyla smiled. "Thank you for all your help, John," she said. "You are a good friend." _

_John shrugged awkwardly. "No problem Teyla, really," he said gruffly. _

"_Good night." And with a final smile she left his quarters. _

And she hadn't come back. John screwed his eyes up tighter and rolled onto his front. Then his side. And then back onto his back.

Oh for crying out loud! She's _fine_!

John let out a deep breath and forced himself to relax. He started to drift off to sleep again, and only hoped that this time it would be for more than half an hour.

_Tap. Tap tap._

John's eyes flew open and he turned his head to the door. Was that real or had he imagined it? He stared at the door for a few moments, trying to decide whether to get out of bed, but there was utter silence. He must have imagined it.

_Tap tap._

Or not. John went to get up, but before he got very far there came the sound of his door controls activating, and then they slid open. The pale moonlight pouring through his window fell on Teyla, who stood in the doorway looking very sheepish. And absolutely shattered.

John looked at her in silence for a moment, trying to figure out why he was so happy to see her. Why should he be happy that she wasn't sleeping well?

Well, at least this way he didn't have to worry about her any more. She was here, and he could make sure she was okay.

Wordlessly, John lifted up the side of the quilt closest to Teyla, and scooted over on the bed. She gave him a small smile and hurried across the room, and had slipped under the cover next to him before the door had finished closing.

"I'm so sorry J –" She began, but John cut her off.

"S'okay, Teyla," he said. He sounded very tired and he was glad of it – he'd rather Teyla thought he'd been asleep than knowing he'd been lying awake worrying about her. "Just sleep."

Teyla nodded and lay down. She hadn't brought her pillow with her, so they were sharing the same one, bringing the sides of their faces very close together, though their bodies were further apart. It made for a rather uncomfortable lying position which John got tired of very quickly.

He shifted himself a little closer to Teyla so that he was lying straight, and moved his arm up around her shoulders so that Teyla's head was resting on it. His eyes were half closed but he saw Teyla's eyes widen at the move. A moment later, though, she closed her eyes and shifted a little closer to him, resting her head against his shoulder, her hand coming to rest lightly against his side.

_Well_, thought John, as he drifted off to sleep. _We would have ended up like this in the morning anyway._

_TBC_


	6. Submersion

This chapter is based before and during 'Submersion', so naturally there are spoilers for that episode. It's not made clear in the chapter, but it takes place about three days after the last one, coz I figured McKay would have needed a little time to figure out where the drilling platform was…

Enjoy!

**Chapter Five**

"John…"

"Uh-uh."

"John…"

"No…"

"John!"

"Leave me alo – argh!"

John jerked up into a sitting position as something cold and wet landed on his face. He opened his eyes to see Teyla standing next to his bed, smirking and holding a half-empty glass of water.

John stared at her in shock as he wiped water out of his eyes. "Teyla!"

"It is time to get up, John," she said, as though she hadn't just flung water in his face. John noticed she was already fully dressed and realised that maybe his lie-in had got a little out of hand, since she'd had time to go back to her quarters and get changed.

John slumped back against his pillow. "We're never going to find it," he said sulkily.

"Dr McKay has narrowed down the search perimeters to –"

"_Yeah yeah_," said John, rolling his eyes. "We're still not going to find it."

"Well, the only way we will _ever_ find it is if_ you_ are flying the puddlejumper…"

John raised an eyebrow at Teyla's cajoling tone. "Flattery isn't going to work, you know," he said flatly.

Teyla rolled her eyes. "I have more water here –"

"Fine, _fine_!" John said, quickly getting out of bed. "Slave driver…" He muttered.

Teyla smiled smugly and put the glass down on his bedside table. "We're leaving in half an hour," she said. "The scientific team are already loading the jumper."

At the mention of the scientific team, John had to fight the urge to get back into bed. This trip was going to be _hell_.

"You know, you don't deserve this, since you just threw water all over me," said John to Teyla. "And especially since I had, very graciously, allowed you to stay in my room _again_…"

Teyla shook her head, smiling. "What, John?" She asked.

John grinned. "When you see McKay, tell him 'shotgun'."

Teyla frowned. "Why?"

"It's a way of calling the front seat," he told her. "You know – because Elizabeth's coming with us on this one, there won't be room up front for all of us. If you say 'shotgun', he'll have to sit at the back with the rest of the scientists."

Teyla smiled. "Alright, thank you John," she said. "I will see you in the jumper bay."

"Can't wait," said John sarcastically. Teyla gave him another smile and swept out of his quarters.

John shook his head as he started to pull clothes out of his closet. He was going to spend the next who-knows-how-many hours stuck piloting a puddlejumper full of scientists, _under water_, looking for a mobile drilling platform that had been lost for ten thousand years.

The fun never stops in the Pegasus Galaxy.

XXXXX

John knew he should have stayed in bed that morning. And he should have made Teyla stay there as well. Okay, that sounded slightly strange, but he knew what he meant. The point was, the day _was not _going well.

Teyla stood in front of one of the bunks in the crew quarters, her arms folded across her chest, her face pale and haggard.

"Teyla, you need to get some rest," said Elizabeth.

John couldn't agree more. Teyla looked exhausted – hardly surprising, as she'd just gone mind to mind with a Wraith Queen, who was still alive and nearby.

How he wished they'd never found the damn drilling platform.

Teyla started to shake her head, but Elizabeth spoke again before she could protest. "Sleep, Teyla," she said firmly. "Trust me."

Teyla sighed and she gave John the briefest of glances. If he hadn't been staring at her so intently he would have missed it. He knew what it meant – she wanted to sleep, but how would she able to if John didn't stay with her?

"Aright," said Teyla. "I will try to sleep." She sat down on the bunk behind her, staring at the floor near John's feet.

"Good," said Elizabeth. She turned and looked at John. "We'd better get back to the control room."

She started to walk out of the room, but John stayed rooted to the spot, still staring at Teyla.

"Er…"

Teyla shook her head, her eyes still trained on the floor, and John knew she didn't want him to explain the situation to Elizabeth. They would just have to hope she could fall asleep alone.

Elizabeth had stopped just outside the door, waiting for him, and John hurried after her. "Sleep well," he said to Teyla, as the doors slid shut behind him.

He had tried to sound as normal as possible, but some of his worry must have shown on his face, because Elizabeth gave him an encouraging smile. "She'll be fine," she said. "She just needs some rest."

_That's the problem_.

"I know," said John. "We should get back to McKay."

They walked through the corridors to the control room, and John kept fighting the impulse to run back to Teyla. He was sure that if he explained the situation to Elizabeth, she would understand and he would be allowed to stay with Teyla, to make sure she got some sleep. Lord knows she needed it.

Only the knowledge that Teyla would hate him for it stopped John from doing just that. Teyla didn't like to show weakness to anyone, and he knew that it cost her every time she came to him because she couldn't sleep. It had been going on for over a week now, and John knew Teyla wasn't happy with the situation.

John knew that if word got round that he and Teyla were sleeping together – in the literal sense of the phrase – Teyla would be mortified. And it wouldn't be too easy on him either. He could just imagine what the rumour mill in Atlantis would come up with for that little nugget of information, and how much stick he would get for having Teyla in his bed every night.

Jeez, if he'd been told two weeks ago that Teyla would be sleeping in his bed every night, he would a) not believe it and b) be ecstatic. It should be a dream come true, right?

Well, John surprised _himself _at how much it wasn't like that. When Teyla was lying next to him, all he could think of was being there for her so she could get the rest she needed. He loved that he was able to do this for her.

Okay, so that wasn't _all _he thought about, but _those _kind of thoughts occurred much less frequently than you'd expect from someone in his position. And right now, all he wanted to do was help Teyla.

"John?"

John snapped out of it – Elizabeth was looking at him, obviously waiting for a reply to something she had said.

"Sorry, what?" He asked.

Unfortunately, now really wasn't the time or the place.

XXXXX

Teyla had never felt so tired. She felt as though her body was sinking into the bunk she sat on next to Elizabeth, her bones heavy with weariness. But still… the Wraith Queen was dead. The self-destruct on the cruiser had been disabled.

That was worth any amount of tiredness.

John walked into the room, and past her and Elizabeth.

"How're you feeling?" He asked her.

Teyla gave him a small smile, rubbing her bare arms as she spoke. "Much better now that I no longer feel the constant presence of a Wraith," she said. 

"That was no ordinary Wraith," John said seriously as he sat down on a bunk against the other wall. "It took a lot of bullets to take her down."

"I wish I was there," said Ronon from where he stood in front of the bunk next to the door.

"He's right, you know," said Elizabeth, from next to Teyla. "I mean, deceiving a Wraith _Queen_ - that's no small feat."

Teyla looked away; away from Elizabeth's earnest expression, playing nervously with her hands. She knew that what she had done had been difficult, and that without her help their plan could not have succeeded, but she did not feel any sense of pride. How could she have been so foolish to try and connect with the Wraith when she had not known what she had been dealing with? Because of her actions two of the scientists had died. Her mere presence had put the entire expedition at risk.

"Well, when there are so many lives at stake, it's easy to summon the strength," said Teyla truthfully, still twisting her hands together. She wanted nothing more than for them to drop the subject, and luckily Rodney entered the room at that moment.

"Well, Zelenka's finally got communications back up," he said, walking over to Teyla and Elizabeth's bunk. "Turns out Atlantis _had_ sent another jumper - should be here within the hour."

"That's good news!" Said Elizabeth, smiling up at him.

"Yeah, no kidding," said Ronon. He was lying facedown on his bunk. "I can't wait to see the sun."

Teyla whole-heartedly agreed with him, but Rodney looked at him as though he were crazy. "What?" He exclaimed. "No no no - we haven't finished what we came here for." He looked round at them all seriously. "Look, the Wraith's gone - we've got a ton of research to do."

Teyla, John and Ronon just looked at him, but Elizabeth stood up, grabbing her jacket as she did so. "Yes, we do," she said.

Rodney started to walk back out of the room, Elizabeth at his side. "In fact, I'm pretty sure we should be able to come up with a way to get auxiliary power online in a couple of days," he said enthusiastically.

Elizabeth smiled at Teyla over her shoulder, and Teyla grinned back. Poor Elizabeth… it never stopped for her. 

"Is he serious?" Said Ronon in disbelief. 

"Yeah, he is," said John vehemently.

Teyla smiled again. It never stopped for John, either – like Elizabeth, he was always on duty, and she knew he was worried about all the new trouble Rodney might get himself into.

Teyla bundled up her jacket and placed it at the end of the bunk closest to John. Perhaps she would be able to fall asleep before he left. "Well, I for one intend to spend the next little while resting," she said. Even if she could not sleep, she still did not intend to move from this spot for several hours.

"Same here," said Ronon.

"Yeah," said John. Teyla looked over at him, just as he glanced at her. He looked away quickly and stretched out on his bunk, his head towards her. "Same here."

Teyla watched John as he lay down on his bunk – it was only then that she realised he had removed his boots and vest and was intending to stay. He lay on his back, and didn't look in her direction again. Teyla lay down on her own bunk and closed her eyes.

Ronon's soft snores soon filled the room, but it was the sound of John's breathing that Teyla listened to as she too fell asleep.

_TBC_

_Because this story has been in my head for such a long time, I get very excited whenever there is any mention of sleeping on the show… Doppelganger's gonna be FUN. _

_Please review!_


	7. Cured

This chapter is stupidly short, and for that I apologise. But I thought it ended in a good place and I don't want to carry it on further.

**Chapter Six**

John walked down the silent corridor as quickly as possible, checking his watch as he went. It was gone 2400, and Teyla must be exhausted. John wasn't much better. It had been a long, _long _day, especially for her.

Though at least she'd been spared the briefing he'd just been made to attend.

They had got back from the drilling platform three hours ago, but John had barely been able to grab dinner before Rodney and Radek had radioed in from the platform with an update. A very, very long update.

There were times when John resented his position of power and responsibility. The last two hours had certainly been one of them.

John rounded the corner onto his corridor and stopped in his tracks. He was standing next to Teyla's quarters, and light was spilling out from under the door – she was obviously still in there.

This surprised John a little. They hadn't discussed it, when he'd been called away, but he'd just assumed that by the time he'd got out she'd be in his quarters.

It had been a pretty stupid assumption, now he thought about it.

John walked over to her door, but hesitated before knocking. He felt a little uncomfortable, collecting her from her quarters like this. Shouldn't he just go to bed and see if she came to him, like he always had done?

John stood still, undecided. He thought back to earlier, in the commissary. He'd been called away, and he'd said 'see you later' to Teyla and Ronon. She had nodded, looking him straight in the eye – she definitely intended to stay with him tonight, he was sure. She was probably waiting for him to get back, and didn't want to wait in his quarters.

Maybe she wanted to stay in her quarters tonight. He could do that, right? Stay in her quarters?

John shook himself, deciding he looked pretty stupid just standing there in front of her door. He knocked.

John waited, listening hard for any kind of movement, but there was nothing. She wasn't in there. Shaking his head, he walked swiftly to his own quarters. She'd just left the lights on.

As soon as he entered his quarters, though, John knew she wasn't there either. The room was completely empty. Frowning, he once again found himself outside Teyla's door. He knocked again. There was still no answer.

John wondered idly whether he should radio Teyla, when a possibility occurred to him that he hadn't considered before. She could be asleep.

He hesitated for a moment, and then activated the control crystals on the wall. The doors slid open.

The room lights were on, as well as a small bedside lamp. Teyla lay on her bed, fully-clothed, a book lying open on her chest. She was fast asleep.

John stood just inside the room, watching her silently as the doors slid shut behind him. She was asleep. She'd fallen asleep without him.

John wondered why he didn't feel happier that she was cured.

After a few moments, John realised there was absolutely no reason for him to be standing there, and turned to leave. If she woke up, he knew that she would come and find him.

He stopped just before opening the doors and turned back to her. He couldn't leave her like this.

As quietly as he could, John tiptoed over the bed and turned off the bedside lamp. Very gently he removed the book from Teyla's hands and, marking the page, placed it next to the lamp. Then he picked up Teyla's throw – which was luckily folded at the end of the bed – and placed it over her sleeping form. She smiled slightly and her hand tightened on the cover.

John gave a smile of his own before turning and heading out of the room, turning off the lights as he went.

In the darkness of her room, Teyla slept on.

In the darkness of his room, John found that he couldn't sleep at all.

_TBC._


	8. Coffee

_A/N – Thank you again for all the wonderful reviews! This chapter is quite short as well, but I hope you like it. _

**Chapter Seven **

_Briiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiinnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnnngggggg…_

Teyla's eyes flew open and she groped for the alarm clock, half-asleep and disorientated. She pushed the button to turn it off, and frowned as her head fell back against her pillow. She had always hated the sound of her alarm clock, and now it seemed worse because she had not heard it in a while.

With that thought came awareness of her situation and Teyla sat up in bed, fully awake. She was in her own room, in her own bed. It was morning. She was alone.

She had slept.

Teyla climbed slowly out of bed, thinking hard. On one hand she was relieved and happy that she had finally managed to get a decent night's sleep by herself; on the other, she couldn't help worrying about John. Had he been waiting for her last night, expecting her to materialise in his quarters?

Her eyes fell on the book on her bedside table, and widened. She had fallen asleep reading, waiting for John to be finished with his briefing. But the book was on the table, and she had been covered with her throw… _John_. John must have been in here. Teyla felt a little better knowing that John had seen her sleeping – at least he would not have been worrying about where she was, as she knew he would have done otherwise.

She would go and find him, and thank him, and then they could put the whole experience behind them and go back to sleeping normally. With that thought in mind, Teyla went to get ready for the day.

Half an hour later, Teyla walked through the halls of Atlantis, looking around for any sign of John. He had not been in his quarters or at the gym. She knew she could radio him for his whereabouts, but she didn't want to make too big a deal out of what had happened. Her dependence on him the past week had been one of great… perhaps not _shame_, but she had certainly disliked her weakness. She had also hated inconveniencing John the way she had.

Teyla headed towards the commissary, in the hope that John would be there having breakfast. Sure enough, John was sitting at a table by himself, reading a report and eating oatmeal. Teyla picked up an apple from the basket beside her and walked over to his table.

John glanced up as she got nearer and caught her eye. His eyes flickered over her, and then he gave her a small smile, which she returned.

"Good morning John," she said, stopping in front of him.

"Princess Aurora," he said.

Teyla blinked. "Excuse me?"

John shook his head, smiling again. "Don't worry," he said. "How'd you sleep?"

Teyla slid into the chair opposite him. "Very well, actually," she said.

John nodded and had a drink from a cup of coffee. "So, you're cured," he said, putting the mug back down and starting on his oatmeal again.

Teyla chuckled. "Yes, thanks to you," she said. John just shrugged and kept eating, his eyes on his oatmeal. Teyla frowned – was it her imagination, or was John acting strangely?

"No problem," he said, still not looking at her. He drank some more coffee. She had never seen him drink his coffee black before, but didn't comment on it.

"And… and thank you for turning off all my lights and…" John looked up at her then, and Teyla's voice faltered slightly. "It _was_ you, wasn't it?"

John nodded. "I was just checking on you," he said, looking a little uncomfortable.

Teyla looked at him, and realised that he was embarrassed – embarrassed that he had looked after her the night before, when she had fallen asleep. He was really very sweet sometimes.

"Well, thank you," she said.

John looked away again. "No problem," he repeated. He looked up at her again and gave her a very small smile. "I'm glad you're okay now."

"As am I," she said. "The past week has been… trying."

John quirked an eyebrow at her. "You really hate my quarters that much?" He asked.

Teyla fixed him with a look – he knew very well what she really meant. John smiled and took another bite of his oatmeal.

"In all seriousness, John," said Teyla. "Thank you for all your help."

"It was nothing."

"It was not nothing," said Teyla firmly, looking him right in the eye. "If there is any way I can repay you…"

John grinned. "Well, that's the most interesting offer I've had in a while…"

Teyla rolled her eyes and bit into her apple to hide her smile. John drank some more coffee, the incorrigible smile still in place.

XXXXX

By the end of the next day, John could only think of two things.

Teyla was one of them. He hadn't seen her much, as their next mission wasn't scheduled until the end of the week, and she had spent the previous night on New Athos. He was very glad he hadn't seen her, because his ability to function as a human being had deteriorated as the day progressed.

He was so tired. He'd had a long day the day before last – walking four kilometres in a diving suit along the bottom of an ocean was _not _as easy as it sounds. They'd had maybe – what? Two hours sleep before heading back to Atlantis? And that was it. The less said about his two nights tossing and turning the better.

Every fibre of John's tired body was screaming at him to suck it up and tell Teyla he hadn't been able to sleep without her, but he had many good reasons for not doing so. She was sleeping fine without him, and had finally been able to spend the night with her people without having to worry about lack of sleep. He also now completely understood her reluctance to ask him for his help, as the thought of going to her and admitting her missed her presence was as appealing as waltzing with Kavanaugh. And besides, he was sure that eventually he'd be okay. It had only been two nights, after all.

The other thing John kept thinking about was coffee. John had come to the realisation that coffee was pretty much the greatest invention in the world. The wheel was pretty good too, especially since a wheel could be used to grind up coffee.

And coffee was another reason he didn't have to tell Teyla about his sleeping problem. Everything was fine.

XXXXX

It was late when Teyla arrived back in Atlantis, and she was grateful that there were few people around to slow her down. She was eager to reach her quarters and get some sleep. She had never found Athosian sleeping pallets as hard and uncomfortable as she had the night before; had never before noticed every single noise outside her tent with such wide-eyed attention.

She had not slept well. Teyla put it down to not having spent a night among her people for over a month. She was sure that once she was in her quarters sleep would some easily.

That's what she hoped, anyway.

_TBC_


	9. A Deal

Hi everyone – I'm sorry for the wait for this chapter. I got back to university last week and I've had a very busy time so far, so this has been the first chance I've had to sit down and write something. Then I went to the Pegasus 3 convention, so any free time this weekend when out the window… (so not complaining though – it was awesome!). Also, I had trouble deciding how exactly to continue this… from now on I have literally no plan, and I'm just going where the wind takes me…

Thank you all for the wonderful reviews! Spoilers for Vengeance in this one.

**Chapter Eight**

The sound of Teyla's training shoes slapping against the floor echoed dully round her as she ran down the deserted corridor. Her hair, drawn up in a tight ponytail, swung from side to side with each step, and her breath was coming in short gasps. Still she pushed forward, feeling the adrenaline in her system wash away the exhaustion. Or numb it, at least.

It had been a week since she had returned from her restless night on New Athos. A week since she had shared John's bed. A week since she had slept properly. She knew, now, that it had been her sheer exhaustion after going mind-to-mind with the Wraith Queen on the drilling platform that had coaxed her to sleep that night. She wasn't cured.

But she was not going to tell John. She couldn't. She knew that if she told him he would insist on staying with her at night, and she couldn't – _wouldn't­ _– fall into that pattern again. She couldn't do that to John – he had enough things to worry about on Atlantis without having to feel responsible for her sleep. Or lack thereof.

Besides, it was not as bad as before. It took her a long time to get to sleep, but once she did she managed to sleep for a few hours at a time, though she had to admit her sleep was far from deep and peaceful. She was certain, however, that she would fully recover soon, and until she did she could handle waking up a few times a night.

Tonight, though, she had known that sleep was not going to come. She had lain awake in her bed, staring at her dark ceiling, and known that no matter how long she stayed there she would be wide awake all night.

All those people. Lying dead, fed on by Iratus bugs. Used by Michael.

Teyla forced herself to go faster, her feet pounding into the floor. She turned right and ran up a flight of steps towards a door that led out to a large balcony, from which the South-East Pier was accessible. Perhaps some fresh air would do her some good.

The door slid open as she approached it, and Teyla ran through it, not slowing down as she crossed the threshold. The cool night air washed over her, energising her, and she used it to push herself faster, heading for the steps to the pier.

"Teyla?"

Teyla skidded to a halt at the sound of the voice. His voice. Breathing heavily, sure she was imagining things, she turned around.

It was a cloudy night, and the only light came from central sections of the city behind her, but Teyla could clearly see John's silhouette as he stood up – he had been sitting on a stone bench, set against the other side of the balcony.

_Oh no_.

This was not a good thing – what if he somehow found out she was still having trouble sleeping? Teyla fought the urge to just keep running, and instead concentrated on getting her breathing back to normal. And thinking up a good story for why she was running instead of sleeping.

But, she suddenly thought, why wasn't John asleep himself? She had no need to explain herself.

"Couldn't you sleep?" John asked, taking a few steps closer to her.

Ah, of course. That was why she would need to explain herself – John's infuriating protectiveness.

"I did not try," said Teyla after a moment. It was almost the truth – she had gone to bed, but had known at once she would not sleep. "I do not feel tired." This was quite far from the truth, but John did not have to know that. It was better he did not.

"Yeah, me neither," he said.

Teyla narrowed her eyes, trying to see him more clearly, but it was just too dark. She had heard something in his tone though – something she recognised.

"Why are you out here?" She asked him.

He shrugged. "Just wanted some air," he said. "Just…"

Regret. Guilt. It was so clear in his voice. Teyla took a step closer to him.

"The Daedalus found nothing?" She asked gently.

John shook his head. "No," he said. "Michael and all the bug creatures were long gone. McKay's got the control crystal but…" His voice trailed off and he backed up a couple of steps and sat back down on the bench.

Teyla sighed and walked over to John. She couldn't see if he was looking at her, but his head was turned in her direction. She sat down next to him on the bench, and leaned back against the edge of the balcony, enjoying the feel of the cool metal through her clothes.

"We will find him," she said after a moment.

"I think he'll find us," replied John quietly.

Teyla didn't reply. What was there to say to that? John was right – Michael would find them. They would just have to be prepared to face him when they did; prepared to stop him once and for all before he did any more harm.

"Makes you long for the good old days, doesn't it?" Said John suddenly.

Teyla looked at him, though all she could see was a dark shadow. "The 'good old days'?" She asked curiously.

John nodded. "You know, when the Wraith were the only bad guys we had to worry about," he said. "Now we've got them, the Replicators, Michael and his mutants… it never stops."

"No, it does not," Teyla agreed quietly. She suppressed a shiver. It wasn't a particularly warm night, and now that she had stopped running she was beginning to feel the chill. She slid a little closer to John, nearer to his warmth. They sat silently, side by side, watching the weak light of the moon trying to penetrate the clouds drifting by overhead.

It never stops, but at least for now they could just sit quietly. Teyla closed her eyes.

It wasn't until twenty minutes later, when it began to rain, that Teyla opened her eyes again.

XXXXX

The rain landed on John's face and he jerked awake. His first wild thought was that Teyla was throwing water on him again. Then he realised that that couldn't be, because Teyla didn't sleep in his quarters anymore. Next he realised that Teyla _was_ next to him – he heard her gasp and his shoulder felt suddenly cold and then wet as she lifted her head from where it had fallen. Finally, he realised what had happened – they were sitting outside, they had both fallen asleep, and now it was raining.

These thoughts took less than a second to parade through John's mind, and then both he and Teyla were on their feet and running for cover. The door slid open as they approached and they ducked through the doorway. A moment later the rain started coming down in torrents. John was reminded forcefully of the storm a couple of years back.

John turned to look at Teyla, but it was way too dark to see her properly. This part of the city was mainly offices and labs, and generally empty this time of night. Frowning, he backed away, knowing that there was a control crystal a little way along the wall. He wanted to be able to see her for this conversation.

He found the crystal and the lights blazed into life, and finally he could see her clearly. She was wearing black sweatpants and a black tank-top, and her hair was pulled up into a high ponytail. The few tendrils that had escaped the hair tie were plastered wetly to her forehead, and her skin glistened with moisture.

Teyla reached up and brushed back one of the wet pieces of hair, staring at him silently. John narrowed his eyes at her.

"You fell asleep," he said. He didn't mean to sound so accusatory, but he couldn't help it.

Teyla looked back at him defiantly. "So did you," she replied.

John shifted uncomfortably. "Yeah, I…" He broke off and narrowed his eyes again. "Teyla, tell me the truth – have you been sleeping?"

Teyla looked away, out at the pouring rain. "John…"

John let out a frustrated sigh. "You haven't, have you? Teyla –"

"John, it's fine." Teyla turned back to him and folded her arms. "I have been _fine_. Tonight… it has been a trying day."

"Have you really, though?" John asked, taking a step towards her. "Because I…" John closed his mouth a looked away.

"What?" Her tone was curious, confused. John ran a hand through his wet hair, hating that he was actually going to tell her this.

"I haven't been sleeping too good," he said after a moment.

"What?" Now she sounded shocked. John looked back at her, and saw she looked it, too.

"I've been having trouble sleeping," he said quietly. "Ever since… well, since you… left."

Teyla was staring at him. "Why did you not tell me?"

"You didn't tell me that _you_ haven't been sleeping," John said, sounding a little defensive. Teyla looked away for a moment, and John felt glad that she wasn't denying it, at least. He folded his arms. "Besides, I didn't know until just now that… you know… having you there would help."

Teyla shook her head. "John… I am sorry."

"For what?"

"For doing this to you," she said. "You were fine before I –"

"This isn't your fault Teyla," said John quickly, taking another step towards her. Teyla shook her head again and looked away. John took another step. "_Really_. It's just… one of those things."

Teyla sighed and looked back up at him. "Some nights I am alright… I can get to sleep and only wake up a few times," she said.

John nodded. "Same here." And it was. After the first couple of completely sleepless nights, he had started to drop off every now and then, waking up several times a night. Two nights ago, apart from taking ages to get to sleep, he'd managed to stay asleep once he had. Tonight, though… there'd been no chance of sleep.

Teyla looked straight at him, her eyes wide and doleful. "But there are some nights…"

"Like tonight," said John softly.

"Yes."

They stood there, looking at each other, the only sound the heavy rain pounding against the balcony outside. Eventually, John shrugged. "So…you wanna get some sleep?"

Teyla gave him a small smile. "Yes," she said simply.

"Okay," said John. He put his hands in his pockets and he and Teyla started to walk towards the nearest transporter. They were silent as they walked, and John didn't like it. Still though, he didn't really know what to say to break the silence. This shouldn't be uncomfortable – they had slept in his quarters, in the same bed, for a week, and it had been fine. Now though, it seemed so much more real. Now they had talked about it, and realised that they both had a problem, that they _needed _the other, it was somehow completely different.

They reached the transporter and took it to a couple of corridors away from their quarters. When they stepped out, John broke the silence.

"So, we'll get dried off and meet at mine in like ten minutes?" He asked. He was whispering, because now they were surrounded by living quarters.

"Alright," Teyla whispered back.

John realised what he had proposed and backtracked. "Unless… I mean, we can sleep in your quarters if you want," he whispered quickly. "I don't mind."

"No, your quarters will be fine," she replied. They had now reached Teyla's quarters, and she stopped. John stopped as well and turned to face her, feeling awkward again.

"Okay," he said after a moment, backing away. "See you in a minute."

XXXXX

John was rearranging his bedclothes when Teyla walked into his room ten minutes later, and for the about the twentieth time she wondered why she was doing this. Alright, so she couldn't sleep, but tonight was a special circumstance. Thankfully, it wasn't very often that they experienced the atrocities they had seen in Michael's facility. And she had been sleeping better – wouldn't this just send her back to where she had started a month ago?

On the other hand, though, John couldn't sleep either. Teyla couldn't help but feel responsible and knew that she if her presence could help him rest, she would stay. Noting that the bedside lamp was on, Teyla turned off the main lights and walked over to the bed.

John gave her a small smile as she put her own pillow on the bed next to his. She tried to return it but she had such mixed feelings about what she was doing that it came out as more of a grimace.

"It's only for one night, Teyla," said John.

Teyla looked across the bed at him. He was watching her carefully, with an understanding look on his face. She nodded and managed to smile back.

"I know," she said.

For a moment John looked like he wanted to say something else, but he just shook his head and climbed into the bed. Teyla followed suit, and soon found herself lying next to John, their sides touching. She immediately felt a rush of tiredness overtake her, and she closed her eyes gratefully.

Suddenly she felt John's weight shift. "Teyla?"

She opened her eyes and saw that John was sitting up. She sat up as well. "Yes?"

John paused. "I think we should make a deal," he said after a moment. "Whenever we can't sleep, we tell the other." Teyla frowned, and John scooted round to face her a little more.

"Like you said, it's not every night that we have to do this," he said earnestly. "But there's no point losing sleep if we know that we could just help each other out."

Teyla looked at John silently. He stared back at her, the earnest expression still firmly in place, and she thought about what he'd said. It showed that he didn't expect this to become a regular thing again, for which Teyla was exceedingly grateful, but it also gave them the option of turning to the other if they needed to.

"You're right," she said eventually.

John nodded slowly. "Okay," he said. "Then it's a deal." He held out his hand for Teyla to shake and she did do, rolling her eyes slightly.

"Good night John," she said, lying back down again, though still facing him.

John switched off the bedside lamp and lay down as well. Teyla couldn't see him very well in the darkness, but from his silhouette against the slightly lighter window, she could tell he was also on his side, facing her.

"Good night Teyla."

_TBC_


	10. Restless

Hi everyone! No, your eyes are not playing tricks on you – this is in fact an update for _Sleep Study_ that you are reading right now! Thank you for all the reviews and all the private messages enquiring about this story, it's lovely to know that so many of you like it! I'm not going to give you my usual apologies for taking so long to update, because I've had a bit of trouble deciding where to go with this story… as I've explained to a few of you, the idea I had went as far as John and Teyla making the deal they did in the last chapter, and then it really was just missing moments, ending who-knows-how. I still don't know, but I've decided to get on with the missing moments!!

Okay, this chapter is really, _really _short, and a complete filler chapter. I fully intended to write more, but when I got to the last sentence I just wanted to stop – it seemed like a good place. Never fear though – I'm starting the next chapter right now, and I promise faithfully that you won't have to wait a year for the next update! You can trust me, honest!

As always, I'd love to hear from you, and enjoy!

**Chapter Nine**

Weeks passed, turned into a month, and Teyla and John stayed in their separate quarters. Outwardly, nothing changed in their relationship – nothing at all. They were as friendly as ever, joking with each other, sparring with each other, going on missions and not once discussing their 'deal'. Not that Teyla ever felt a strong need to. There were some nights when it took her longer than usual to get to sleep, but nothing approaching the restlessness she had felt before.

What bothered her was the niggling worry that neither of them would honour the deal, if it came to it. Neither of them were particularly good at expressing their weaknesses or their feelings – John especially – and though the deal had been his idea, Teyla doubted whether he would really turn to her again if he needed to. It would be so much more like him to just pretend nothing was wrong.

It would be just like her, too. There was no use denying it – she was just as stubborn as John. The thought was frustrating.

The problem was that it had been easier before, when it had been a constant state. Even though she had been embarrassed by her sleeping problem at first, it had soon become a habit, and she hadn't really thought much of it. If she were to suddenly turn up on John's doorstep now, after a month apart, it would feel awkward. And it would also be admittance – John would know that there was a specific something keeping her awake, and it would be admittance of weakness.

Teyla rolled over onto her back for the third time in as many minutes, and sighed. Tonight was definitely one of those nights that having John near would help, but it wasn't so much that his presence would help but her to sleep – it was that his absence was keeping her awake. John was away on a mission, a solo mission to see if the Apollo's plan to destroy the Replicator ships has worked. He was due back any moment – in fact he might already be back – but Teyla didn't know if he was. She wasn't going to check.

It was silly anyway. What would she say? _John, I can't sleep because I'm worried you won't come back from the mission_. Well, that would be a bit of a moot point. Besides, that wasn't really what was bothering Teyla – yes, she was worried about John, of course she was. She hated being left behind on missions, even when she wasn't needed – anything could happen. Something else was bothering her tonight, and it was something she couldn't explain. Perhaps it was the sheer power of the Replicators, the reminder of the terror they held and danger they posed that Colonel Ellis' plan had brought with it; perhaps it was Elizabeth's doubts about the plan rubbing off on her. All Teyla knew was that she was uneasy.

With another sigh, Teyla rolled onto her side again and determinedly shut her eyes.

_TBC_


	11. Grief

See, I told you all to trust me! Thanks for the reviews for the last chapter – this one is longer, but not ridiculously slow. Again, it just seemed like a good place to end it.

Forgot to give a spoiler alert for the last chapter (First Strike, as I'm sure you all figured out…) – this chapter has spoilers for First Strike, Adrift and Lifeline.

**Chapter Ten**

Teyla stood on the balcony, staring up at the deceptively beautiful light above her. Ronon had left not long after John, to go and find food, but Teyla had remained, just looking out over the city.

She had given up on sleep earlier that night, deciding to go for a midnight snack or training session… or something. She'd met Ronon, prowling the corridors, and then they had heard from a passing Marine that John was back, and that the mission had been a success. They'd headed straight to the control room to find him and hear about it firsthand.

Teyla remembered the relief she'd felt at hearing the plan had worked, and that John and everyone else had returned safely. She had basked in it, berating herself for having worried so before. In the light of the Apollo's triumph she had forgotten her unnamed fear from earlier.

Now, staring up at the Replicator beam attacking the city, her _home_, she knew she had been wrong to do so. She had not seen this coming – none of them had, not even Elizabeth – but she felt foolish for letting her guard down, even for just a few minutes.

One thing was certain – no one on Atlantis would be sleeping tonight.

XXXXX

_I think we should make a deal… _

Teyla swung her legs out from under her covers and sat on the edge of her bed, facing the doors of her quarters. The small movement sapped her of all her determination, though, and she stayed there, just staring at the wall. A moment ago she had managed to talk herself into seeking out John – she hadn't slept in two days, she was emotionally and physically drained… and yet she was wide awake.

_I think we should make a deal… whenever we can't sleep, we tell the other._

It had been John's idea, it had been John that had held out his hand to Teyla for her to shake, and make their 'deal' official. But tonight… tonight, Teyla just wasn't sure whether she should go to John. She wanted to, more than anything right now, but tonight, she couldn't help but think he would want to be alone.

Teyla sighed, and stood up. One thing was certain in her mind – in spite of of what he might want, he _shouldn't _be alone.

She would check on him – just check on him. If he was asleep, she would leave him be. Regardless of her restlessness and their deal, if John had managed to sleep tonight there was no way that Teyla would wake him.

_But there's no point losing sleep if we know that we could just help each other out._

No, she would not wake him. But she would _check_.

Decided, Teyla walked over to her door and activated the controls to open it. She stepped out into the corridor, turning towards John's quarters, and stopped after just a few steps.

John was standing against the opposite wall, a little further down the corridor, leaning back and staring at her. He didn't move as she exited her quarters, and from the tilt of his body it was obvious that he had been staring at her door. How long he'd been there Teyla just didn't know, and she didn't ask.

She stepped back, opening her door again, and backed up into the threshold. She paused, her eyes still on John, waiting for him to respond. He looked drained, so completely void of all feeling, and all energy, and Teyla wondered for a moment if he could actually move. But a second later, he pushed off from the wall and walked across the corridor towards her, his eyes dropping to the floor. It was then that Teyla noticed he was dressed for bed, in his usual t-shirt and joggers, and he was barefoot.

Teyla turned and walked over to her bed, swiftly pushing back the covers and arranging her cushions across the headboard. She climbed into the bed and shifted over to the far side. Only then did she look back at John – he had stopped just inside the doors – now closed – and he was staring at her again. It occurred to Teyla then that they had never done this in her quarters before; she had always gone to him before now. She gave John a small, encouraging smile, and he kept walking.

John climbed into the bed next to Teyla and lay down on his back, staring up at the ceiling. Teyla arranged the covers back over them and lay down on her side, facing John. He continued to stare up into the darkness, his hands folded together on his chest. Teyla wondered if he was purposefully trying not to touch her, and remembered the first time they had shared a bed, how embarrassed they had been to wake up so close to one another in the morning. Since then, they had just fallen asleep in each other's arms – it was more comfortable that way anyway. Teyla didn't think that John was embarrassed now; he was avoiding her for another reason, perhaps for the reason he had stayed outside her quarters rather than coming in.

She didn't pry, or try to force him into anything. She just stayed on her side, studying his profile in the dim moonlight. His face was impassive, stony even, and his eyes remained wide open. Appearances were deceiving though, Teyla knew, and she was positive that John's blank expression hid a mind in turmoil. He had not said anything to her about it – he had been incredibly quiet since his return, everyone had – but Teyla knew that he was hurting. Badly hurting.

She knew what had happened – Ronon had explained it to her, brusquely even for him – and there had been nothing either of them could have done. But she knew John would not see it like that. He would never forgive himself for losing Elizabeth, just like he had never forgiven himself for losing Aiden, or for Carson's death. This cut would run deep.

For all of them.

Teyla dropped her gaze and stared at the short ends of John's hair against the light cream of her pillowcase. Her eyes travelled down to his neck and his shoulders – he was tense, forcing himself to keep still. His breaths were slow and even – not slow like he was sleeping, but slow as though he was consciously controlling his breathing. Teyla looked back at his face – his expression hadn't changed, but his eyes were shining in the moonlight – shining with unshed tears.

Before Teyla could do anything more than notice, John sat up suddenly, shaking his head. "I…" he muttered. "I'm gonna go."

Teyla reached out automatically and seized his arm, sitting up next to him. "John…" Her voice broke as she said his name, her own emotion bubbling to the surface. The pain of losing Elizabeth, the hopelessness she felt in the wake of the grief that now gripped the city, the sorrow she felt for how John obviously blamed himself…

John looked back at her, and for a split second his mask slipped. Teyla saw the intense pain in his eyes as he looked at her, and though he quickly hid it, it was enough. Teyla felt her self-control snap within her. Her hand tightened on his arm and her head dropped so that her forehead was resting against his shoulder.

"Please stay," she whispered.

Teyla felt John shudder beneath her, but she just tightened her grip. Tears slipped silently down her cheeks, and she kept her face against his shoulder, scared that she would completely fall apart if she actually looked up.

For a moment, Teyla thought that John would leave – she could see the way he would shake his head, hear the way he would mumble "sorry", and feel how his body would disappear as he stood up. But he didn't. He was still, perfectly still for a long time. Then he moved. The shoulder Teyla was leaning against shifted as John lifted his arm. He moved it round Teyla's shoulders and her head fell forward against his chest instead. John lay back down, pulling Teyla with him, and she ended up on her side again, but up against him with her face pressed into his chest. He must have felt her tears through his shirt, but he didn't say anything – he just reached over and took hold of her hand, the hand that was still holding onto his other arm, and squeezed it tightly.

And that was how they stayed; John lying on his back with Teyla tucked into his side, crying into his chest and holding onto his hand, both of them silent but not alone in their grief. And if Teyla noticed John's own tears she didn't say anything – neither of them did, all night.


End file.
